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The Sleeping Dragon
sworn to The Seven Kingdoms
19 | single
SERENADE | 27 | CENTRAL | EMILIA CLARKE
When I was a child, I heard voices
Some would sing and some would scream
I am sympathetic.
Chains. For all her life, she'd been bound in chains. Daenerys loved her family, her desire to please them had often motivated her into bending to their will --- trusting their judgement even if everything inside of her was screaming at her to listen to her own heart. She had been a meek child, her own will hushed and ignored. She was loyal to her brother, Rhaegar, who had become something of a father figure to her, and to her brother Viserys who, despite his cruelty and overprotective nature, was someone she cherished still. Her words were overshadowed by the authority figures in her life and, on occasion when she would speak up, was hastily put in her place.
She spent her nights searching. She searched the sky for strength, fulfillment and meaning. She searched for herself. She dreamt of liberation, of rising above all that held her down, but those dreams were shameful to her --- to the part of her that sought to please and feel admiration.
You'll soon find you have few choices.
I learned the voices died with me.
I am reserved.
As she grew, her nature became ever more restless and discontent. There was talk of arranging a marriage and Daenerys felt her chains tighten. There was a duty expected of her, for the good of the realm, for the good of their people, and yet her spirit could still not be content. The view of her life spread out before her...she would become a slave to duty, a slave to a domesticated life. A slave to all that was tame and confined.
The marriage took place and she found herself thrown into a den of lions --- a dragon without wings. Her husband, Jaime Lannister, proved to be a respectful, chivalrous sort of man and Daenerys was grateful for it. However, her life was stagnant, the call of fire and blood muting in the face of a hollow distance from any feeling.
I'd sit for hours
Staring into open flames
Something in it had a power
Could barely tear my eyes away
I am passionate.
Her world began to finally ignite as she felt her uncertain heart warm to the Lannister prince. He was far darker, more complicated and intriguing than she ever could have imagined. She sought to understand him and, despite his tortured and occasionally cold exterior, she determinedly fought past any insecurities that arose, answering the call of achieving something she actually wanted for herself and that was very much within her reach.
Her efforts slowly took form as Jaime seemed to fall for her too and Daenerys found a certain joy in her self-proclaimed captivity. At his side, she did not feel so entirely overlooked or alone. She even discovered a desire to rule, feeling at last equal to a man in her life.
Her chains loosened.
When Daenerys found out she was with child, her heart felt it would burst in its euphoria. Her world was illuminated, her inner life a bright and colorful array of dreams and emotions. A part of her continued to whisper, urging her toward achieving greatness and casting off all that would hold her back, but she chose to settle, laying down her dragon spirit and taking on the mantle of a lioness for the sake of her husband and unborn child. Seeing Jaime's joy mirrored back to her was the single greatest feeling Daenerys had known. She almost felt at peace. She let herself completely trust the man she was bound to, as she'd trusted no one else.
I thought it ended
When I knew love's perfect ache
I am complex.
The day came for her to give birth and, through the ferocious pain, she delivered a set of twins, Joanna and Tyron, to each her and Jaime's delight. Upon holding those children in her arms, seeing the beloved traces of each her and her husband's features upon their faces, her heart melted.
She discovered a deeply protective urge within herself that was so powerful it nearly unbalanced her. The capacity of her heart to love was astonishing --- she surprised herself. Those children and the man beside her were her entire world. It was a world she would die to keep intact. Within her happy haze, she felt untouchable, as if all evil had been vanquished in the face of her bliss.
But my peace has always depended
On all the ashes in my wake
I am vengeful.
But the evil waited just beyond the threshold, jaws bared to devour Daenerys' world. It started with the poisoning of her brother, Viserys, which set forth a sequence of tragic events. The kingdom began to dive into chaos, whispers of unrest spreading. This led to the fire that was set where Daenerys' children slept. Her daughter was spared but her son perished. It was a loss that instantly struck an abyssal hole in her life, the immeasurable joy she felt now only an echo. She clung to the support of her husband as she held close her baby daughter, terrified to let her go for fear of the unspoken things waiting to tear her away as well.
But that wasn't all she clung to. For she had been unscathed by the fire that had been set. Within the suppressed dreamer she once had been, a ray of belief and hope began to seep into her veins, her dragon's blood screaming now so deafeningly that it was no longer possible to overlook it. Her will rose, overtaking every other sense of duty or commitment. She felt called to the flames. She felt her heart crying out for the blood of those who had wronged her. It was an anger and vengeance unlike anything she had ever known.
It was in this state that she joined Daena Targaryen in the fires of their children's pyre, the eggs they brought with them hatching in the sacrifice of fire and blood. They both emerged with the hatchlings, to the awe of all who witnessed it. For the very first time, Daenerys felt at one with herself, her chains now so loose she could nearly take flight.
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
I am ambitious.
Rhaegar declared war that same morning and Daenerys feared for the outcome, though she held fast to the belief that dragons were made to conquer.
When he was slain, her heart broke for the loss of yet another brother, and her resolve shook. The world was thrust into a state of war, the house she'd married into now her enemy. The lions thrashed and clawed in the pit and she cowered in the face of it, her chains tightening then loosening again as she failed to summon her strength. Daena, however, had gathered all the strength of her dragons and held an aim to burn all within her fury.
Daenerys' gentler heart could not bear to witness her people turned to ash, the people she had aspired to rule alongside Jaime, and so she was torn between the call of the dragon and the roar of lions.
Nevertheless, she was ushered into hiding along with her daughter and the separation from her husband left her stumbling as she grasped at anything to aid her in rising above the bleak, dark cage she'd been lowered into. The meek, dutiful, silent girl she'd once been had come back to haunt her and her heart was pulled into its own war.
Daenerys found she was with child again and the happiness she sought to feel at the discovery was marred by the anxiety and helplessness she was induced to.
Her situation reached a shattering climax when she received word that Jaime had been forced into wedding another, as well as an admission from the man's own mouth that he had been concealing a farewell affair with his sister, Cersei. Daenerys loved him, but her trust in him was shaken. Not for the act that had been done, but for his choice to keep it concealed from her. Urging him to carry out his duty to his people, Daenerys looked within and fueled all the fury she had managed to channel before.
She wasn't a helpless victim. She was a dragon. For years she had depended on the protection of others, but it had proven fragile. She'd finally tasted happiness and it had been torn away from her, the will of the world ever against her.
She was the only one holding herself back. She was the only one she could truly rely on for protection and happiness for both herself and her children. She didn't want to be vulnerable or subject to others. She didn't want to be caught up waiting in her role as a dutiful, pining lover.
Daenerys hardened her resolve, at last looking to her own will, trusting only in her dragon's blood. She cast off her chains at last, feeling the freedom and liberation of being given her own choices. Only she could bring herself fulfillment.
In hiding, she now waits. Upon the birth of her child, she intends to rise.
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash
I am Daenerys Targaryen.
The sound of the lapping water and stir of the wind served to momentarily soothe Daenerys' unrest. She closed her eyes as her lips parted, inviting the warmth of the sun. Her hand moved to rest protectively over the growing life inside of her. Within her veins, her blood felt wild, and it was a welcome feeling.
Her eyes opened and looked to the sky, watching the birds fly without boundary. Her spirit rose with them, free but still bound to the earth for the time being. She would simply need to remain patient.
The sting of Jaime's absence continued to pound along with her heart, but she breathed in deep and suppressed it. She would no longer look back, only face what was to come. Circumstance had taken him from her and duty bound him where he was. He was still confined, held down by the name of his family. A sad smile tugged at her face. It was simply who he was. Loyal and dutiful.
Her smile fell. But his loyalties were questionable. Her doubt and uncertainty had not been soothed by the man's fervent declarations of continued devotion. He spoke of wanting to come back to her, desiring only a place at her side. However, she found her heart hardening with the pangs of jealousy and betrayal. She knew the feelings were possibly irrational, but they wouldn't be silenced. A forced wedding...his reluctant taking of a wife. Those things resonated as all too familiar. She herself had been that wife to him only a year before. He had been so certain he would not come to love her, his heart so devoted to Cersei. And now? Well, she now found herself to be his new Cersei. Despite what it might seem to others, Jaime's heart was soft. She hated to ponder it, but couldn't ignore the possibility that, in time, he might come to love his new wife too.
She loved Jaime, she always would. Her devotion was eternal. However, she didn't want to simply wait around in quiet desperation. She didn't want to wonder if he might find it within himself to replace her, despite his assurances. He believed himself forever faithful, but he'd believed the same of his love for Cersei.
At the sound of Joanna, stirring where she rested, Daenerys moved inside, staring down fondly at her child, lifting a finger to stroke a soft, ample cheek as Joanna's eyes fluttered open.
"It is just the three of us," Daenerys' voice was firm as she used it to also assure herself, her other hand continued to rest over her belly. "And we will rise above all that would tear us down." Her eyes blazed with the depth of her resolve and her lips set into a firm, immovable line.